And then there were four

There really is nothing that someone who has gone before you can say to prepare you for life as a family of four. It seems as though everything has changed and we had only just gotten used to it the way it was. My daugther, my second child, was born this past Monday and though keeping my sanity has been a major focus I can honestly say that it has been pure joy. I wondered from the day we found out we were pregnant if I would be able to love another child the way I love Caleb. Would I be able to divide my time without leaving one out or feeling neglected? Would I favor one over the other? The truth is that 5 days in, none of these fears have materialized. It's really cool how our hearts can expand and our capacity for love increases. This blog has been my story of Gospel transformation and how I am beginning to see the Gospel for what it is. One of the things that I have come to understand is that the Gospel is love. The Gospel says that God so loved the world... As my heart increases it's capacity to love one more child it's pretty amazing to think about our heavenly Father and his capacity to love his children.

MC Night Out

So today our MC spent some time together outside of our home and just had a fun day out. We all ate together and then saw the new movie "fireproof." If you haven't seen the movie please go check it out. Especially married couples, even if you marriage is perfect you should check it out. I remember when Melissa and I first got married someone told me that love will get you to the altar and it's a lot of hard work after that. In a society where the divorce rate is over 50% and people marry and divorce out of convenience, we should all be reminded from time to time that marriage is a sacred covenant between you, your spouse and God and that it takes hard work to make it work. I was convicted by the movie to be a better spouse and am sure many other husbands would be as well. One of the coolest parts of the movie for me was where the husband was describing the things that frustrated him about his wife...about how she constantly rejected him and after all of his efforts to love her she spat in his face. And the question was asked "How can you love someone who constantly rejects you?" The gospel become so evident in this moment because it showed the immense love of christ in our failures. In our constant disappointments and rejections, the many times we spit in his face and are determined to do things our way, he still loves and persues us. Despite our rejections he still persues is. I spent a lot of time thinking about my wife today and what I can do to be a better husband to her. I thought about 1 corinthians 13. I have always thought of this as a measuring stick to my ability to love. If i am not patient then I don't love. If i am not kind then I do not love. If i remember every bad thing that was done to me then I do not love. Then it dawned on me that this is not how I love but how God loves because God is love. There is no way that I can measure up to those perfect standards of love but God can. If i understand that God loves me in this way then I can better love my wife and God for that matter in the same way. So anyway I thought it was a great movie, and hope that if you haven't seen it that you will. Also, please remember our family in your prayers as we get closer to the birth of our second child. Sarah Kate will be here Nov 24th and we're all getting very excited about the new addition to the family.

Undeserving

I was reminded of a verse today as we read in the word at NCCd. Psalm 8:4 says...what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? Religion teaches us that if we don't measure up then we will be cursed but if we continue in good works then we will be blessed, as if the will and power of God were at our fingertips. This week was an amazing week that showed us the immense love and provision of our Lord even when we don't measure up. As part of the message taught us today, God sought to cover Adam and Eve from their shame without requiring anything from them. He provided a solution to their need. This amazing God is still at work in much the same way today. A week ago the stresses of finances along with finishing Calebs room and getting the new nursury ready, future transportation since we have already outgrown the honda, amongst other things was wearing heavily on us. I tend to lose sight of how God works and think that if I can't fix it then it can't be done. But God proved me wrong this week. For example, we were able to completely move Caleb into his new room this weekend (there was no carpet a week ago), land an awesome deal on a very new 7 passenger mini-van (yes... I drive a mini-van..I have arrived) we will be able to get rid of the honda and come out of this with no car payments...How? God did it. That's it..we couldn't so he did. Yet in all of this I feel so undeserving, like who am I that God would be mindful of me and my needs? Who am I, in all my sin, to deserve this? On top of this, I was blessed at worship this morning just by a brother being willing to pray with me for me and my family. Can't remember the last time somebody offered to do that. So thanks Jason, that meant more than you probably knew. Who am I that these needs, financial to spiritual to home life would be met? The message of the gospel speaks to the question and says that even when we were dead in our sin, Christ died for us so that God does not see my wretchedness but instead the righteousness of Christ covering me. So I repent of my sin and my shortcomings and pray that God would continue to work in me for this recovery and I thank Him for His provision and grace.

The Kite Runner and the Gospel

A really cool thing that I have enjoyed as a new hobby has been reading. I was never a big reader growing up and it was only about 5-6 months ago that I really got into it. It started with a lot of John Grisham books...I love the law and order type stuff. I read a few christian books and then just recently finished the Kite Runner. First impressions were that this was a great book about a mans redemption from past sins. I finished the book though, took a step back and realized that this really had nothing to do with the gospel. Not that I thought that a book centered in afghanistan with muslim references would be gospel centered but it made me recognize again just how the great the gospel is. The short version of the book is basically this...a man is haunted his entire life by sins he committed in his youth and the only way for him to atone for them, to make himself feel better about his life, is to go and do this "work" that should be good enough to make things in his life better. Now think about how that compares to the Gospel. I'm so glad that the redemptive work of the cross is enough to atone for all of my sins past and present. That I don't have to depend on my good works for my redemption. I didn't expect that a secular book would remind me of the gospel so much. It goes to show that the gospel can be found everywhere, in every situation. It applies to everything. The book is captivating and is a good read. I would definitely recommend the book for anyone who enjoys a good story.

Prayer Request

I would like to ask for anybody that reads this to remember by brother in prayer. Michael and I have a long history and at one time he actually wasn't my brother. We first met in the 2nd grade playing ball together. We later became best friends in the 5th grade and stayed that way until we were about 16. Michael's past is full of tragedy and confusion and I'm just thankful that he has come out of it with a good head on his shoulders. Michael had always joked about coming to live with us one day when finally one night he called and asked if he actually could. Long story short, michael had family issues that he and his twin brother needed to get away from and knowing that, we accepted. Michael's dad forfeitted his parental rights and my parents became his legal gaurdians. Hence, we are now brothers. Fast forward to now. Michael is going through a bad divorce from his wife. She has just given birth to their daughter and Michael rarely gets to see her. We talked for a while the other day about how hard it was for him to not be able to see her when he wanted to and his wife is making things even more difficult according to him. My heart really goes out to him. I come from a divorced family and know the effects it will have on the child but I can't imagine what he is going through now. I was reminded of our message a few weeks ago about how the gospel can transform even the most jacked up of relationships. I think about all the relationships that are going to be jacked up because of this divorce. Michael's relationship to his wife, to his daughter, to God, to the rest of his family. His wife's relationship to him. His daughter's relationship to him. So many people are affected by this and I just pray that somehow michael could see the redeeming power of the gospel through all of this. I'm trying to get him to come to visit NCCd with us but more than that, I'm trying to show him a non-judgemental, loving attitude from a person who just wants to see him make it through ok. I want him to know that Jesus is our rescuer and he can rescue him from even this. So all that to say would you please pray for michael and his family.

In defense of the Gospel

An opportunity presented itself thsi week as I got into a discussion with a professed atheist about different religions. It seems as though more than just religious people equate the gospel with rules as the atheist continued to compare christianity with having the same god and generally the same rules as other religions. So i began to unpack some of the gospel for him in hopes to give him a different perspective than what he had formed for himself. We spoke about the freedom in the gospel from law and how Jesus and the gospel was the real difference in Christianity. We spoke about God's amazing grace and provision and how we don't have to live guilty, burdened lives measured by rules. It always came back to rules though and even as I tried to steer it away from that and show the beauty of a gospel the frees you rather that burdens you, I'm not sure the point came across.
So it got me thinking about just how big the gospel is. How in this one conversation we only talked about a portion of the gospel. We could have talked about the redemptive work of the gospel or the transforming power of it or event the saving power of it. Maybe a faith that is not defined by rules is what he needed to hear at that point. This was really the first time that I was really intentional with my faith...it wasn't nearly as scary as i thought it would be. God is good, maybe he'll provide another opportunity with the same person adn I can unpack the gospel a little better.

Gospel Parenting

So, to say that I have had writers block would be an understatement. But this is something that we may need some help with so here goes...

We (melissa and I) have changed, er...adapted, our way of parenting. Since being at NCCd and learning about the gospel and the difference between it and what we have been taught we decided to apply this knowledge to the way we parent Caleb. So basically it's like this...We want to raise our children to know that we love them...period. There is nothing they can do to earn our love or make us love them more or less. There may be times when we are more proud or more disappointed but our love is constant. Kinda like the gospel. We want Caleb to obey us because he loves us not in order to gain our love. Compare that to the gospel, we are obedient to Christ as an outpouring of our love for Him. Not because we are trying to do something in order for Him to love us.
This works pretty good for us in most parts. When Caleb gets in trouble, we always assure him that we love him but his behavior is not acceptable. When we discipline him (because believe it or not, 19 month old boys are not perfect angels as some would believe) our love for him is the center of discipline. The hard part comes in praising him. Because we do not want him to desire to do good things, instead we want him to do good things because he loves us and knows we love him. We hope that progresses when he is older to doing good things as a result of his relationship with Christ. We try to steer clear of the word "good," as in "Caleb you were good today" or "Be good at day care." The struggle is this...how do you praise your children and encourage good behavior without associating good works with acceptance? I'm beginning to wonder if instead of avoiding "good" we should emphasize "Jesus" more...Any ideas?