So, to say that I have had writers block would be an understatement. But this is something that we may need some help with so here goes...
We (melissa and I) have changed, er...adapted, our way of parenting. Since being at NCCd and learning about the gospel and the difference between it and what we have been taught we decided to apply this knowledge to the way we parent Caleb. So basically it's like this...We want to raise our children to know that we love them...period. There is nothing they can do to earn our love or make us love them more or less. There may be times when we are more proud or more disappointed but our love is constant. Kinda like the gospel. We want Caleb to obey us because he loves us not in order to gain our love. Compare that to the gospel, we are obedient to Christ as an outpouring of our love for Him. Not because we are trying to do something in order for Him to love us.
This works pretty good for us in most parts. When Caleb gets in trouble, we always assure him that we love him but his behavior is not acceptable. When we discipline him (because believe it or not, 19 month old boys are not perfect angels as some would believe) our love for him is the center of discipline. The hard part comes in praising him. Because we do not want him to desire to do good things, instead we want him to do good things because he loves us and knows we love him. We hope that progresses when he is older to doing good things as a result of his relationship with Christ. We try to steer clear of the word "good," as in "Caleb you were good today" or "Be good at day care." The struggle is this...how do you praise your children and encourage good behavior without associating good works with acceptance? I'm beginning to wonder if instead of avoiding "good" we should emphasize "Jesus" more...Any ideas?
1 comment:
As I watched ya'll last week with Caleb, I was so proud to see the gospel being shown to him through every aspect of his life - reading the Jesus Storybook Bible often, disciplining with love, and praising him not for good works but just because of who he is. I think ya'll are doing a wonderful job and I'm sure it's tough at times (you know I kept catching myself saying "good boy!"), but I have complete confidence in the 2 of you because you are both on the same page with discipline and are a united front with Caleb. I hope to be as good of parents as ya'll are when the day comes!
So, to help with gospel-centered parenting I found these audio clips that I think you'd enjoy listening to. It's by C.J. Mahaney - the author of the book I was reading last week. Hope this helps!
-Start at the bottom with #1-
http://www.sovereigngraceministries.com/Blog/post/Gospel-Centered-Parenting-2b-Young-Children.aspx
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